Why not jump right in eh?

After re-introducing myself to the blogosphere this week in such a joyful and enthusiastic way...I have to be honest...today stunk.  Like.  Really. Stunk.

As I looked back at some of the old blogs about parenting and the struggles of being the stay at home parent I noticed a theme of toddler disobedience and overwhelmed momma statements.  Today?  I was still and overwhelmed momma, but in such a deeper and more intense way.  The toddler disobedience has turned into pre-teen emotional mood swings.

CAN I GO BACK?  No seriously?  Can I?

In this world of abundance and simply privilege I am just over the feeling that I'm raising spoiled children.  No matter what I do.  No matter what we don't have...I still feel it creep into our lives without our permission.  This abundance that is.  The feeling that they have everything...what can you really take away?  What punishment really works?  What threat is reasonable enough but yet not so difficult that I can't follow through with?  ACK!  So you see the dilemma right?

There was one point today that I literally felt unheard.  Silent.  Mute.  All the while I was speaking in very stern words and asking for something...to stop rollerblading in the house to be specific...only to ask it over 5 times with literally not even the glance of an eyeball.  No eye roll.  Nothing!

I felt like I was screaming inside but it was all just coming out as a whisper or something.  Like the volume in my head was just really loud and in the real world it was almost silent.

I know the kiddos didn't mean that to happen...but it did.  And then I realized it may be a combination of them and me.  Maybe I need to do some soul searching too...so tonight I'll reign it all in and take some time to think it over.  How can tomorrow be better?  How can I show more love?  How can I NOT contribute to the overwhelming nature of life?  Until then....


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