Wednesday, February 22, 2017

Why not jump right in eh?

After re-introducing myself to the blogosphere this week in such a joyful and enthusiastic way...I have to be stunk.  Like.  Really. Stunk.

As I looked back at some of the old blogs about parenting and the struggles of being the stay at home parent I noticed a theme of toddler disobedience and overwhelmed momma statements.  Today?  I was still and overwhelmed momma, but in such a deeper and more intense way.  The toddler disobedience has turned into pre-teen emotional mood swings.

CAN I GO BACK?  No seriously?  Can I?

In this world of abundance and simply privilege I am just over the feeling that I'm raising spoiled children.  No matter what I do.  No matter what we don't have...I still feel it creep into our lives without our permission.  This abundance that is.  The feeling that they have everything...what can you really take away?  What punishment really works?  What threat is reasonable enough but yet not so difficult that I can't follow through with?  ACK!  So you see the dilemma right?

There was one point today that I literally felt unheard.  Silent.  Mute.  All the while I was speaking in very stern words and asking for stop rollerblading in the house to be specific...only to ask it over 5 times with literally not even the glance of an eyeball.  No eye roll.  Nothing!

I felt like I was screaming inside but it was all just coming out as a whisper or something.  Like the volume in my head was just really loud and in the real world it was almost silent.

I know the kiddos didn't mean that to happen...but it did.  And then I realized it may be a combination of them and me.  Maybe I need to do some soul searching tonight I'll reign it all in and take some time to think it over.  How can tomorrow be better?  How can I show more love?  How can I NOT contribute to the overwhelming nature of life?  Until then....

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

5 Year Anniversary...and not in the good way!

I kind of just forgot.  As life got busy blogging became lower on the "priority" list and I just kind of forgot.

But 5 years of forgetting seems a little extreme doesn't it.  Ok, maybe I've thought about it a time or two and just wondered what I'd write...or wondered why I'd write?  Maybe I was just lazy.  Whatever the reason was, I'm not regretting every moment of what, why and laziness.  5 years of memories that could have been documented that weren't.  5 years of craziness that I could have reminded myself I got through.  5 years of hard things that we did together, separately or altogether alone.

Also, I'm terrible at remembering moments...times of the year...memories that aren't encapsulated with a  delicious food or amazing song or phenomenal smell.  So at first I thought I'd try to recall some great things and recap them here..not gonna happen. period.

So I am right now committing to just beginning now.  Today.  A not so special Tuesday.  But it is special.  Because today is the 5 year anniversary of me not doing a blog...that I WILL do a blog.

SUCCESS.  DAY 1 DONE!  Stay tuned for more...i hope!

Friday, May 18, 2012


Scott: "man I have a sweet tooth tonight!" Sylvi: "daddy, why don't you just pull it out then if you don't like it?"

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

The babe's Shower

So I know...the baby is Skylar is about a month old now and doing so fantastic!  But my sister, Ashley, my mom and I threw a fantastic baby shower for Regi before her baby arrived.  I am just now getting around to sharing them...but what a great day!

Pretzel Roll Bread bowls for Chili and Ham-Cabbage Soup!

A Watermelon in the shape of a hedgehog!  What could be cuter!

Brownie Bites topped with cute flags and banners.

The mother-to-be getting her toe nails painted for the occasion cause she...umm...couldn't get to it herself!

And adorable gifts like these!  These baby moccasins knit by hand by a great friend, Shawn!  Regi loved all things Pocahontas growing the design is oh-so fitting!

Can you say "full house"?  Regi only wanted ONE day of people doting on her was enough.  So one BIG 'ol shower it was!
And what shower is complete without a cute little game or two...

Sunday, April 1, 2012

We tried it! Refrigerator Oatmeal

Ok...I know to a lot of people this isn't new. But for me...I hadn't seen it before! I was really excited at the thought that there was something I could do ahead of time that was a) Healthy b)Easy and c)Quick!
So I took a shot at it. I used the recipe's from over at Yummy Life!
I liked these because there were easy variation ideas for me to start with!
So here's the cast of characters:
Looks simple enough right! And how about the cute are they? I've always loved individual serving ideas...and I just happen to have jars upon jars laying around...I just like 'em!
I can't say I was super neat my first time out on this one...but I'll get there! A little splash here or smear all cleans up really easily!
It all looked so yummy in the little jar! This was the Vanilla Raspberry version...which turns out to be my children's favorite of the 3 we've tried thus far!
Gave them all a good shake and in they went. The big jar? Oh yeah...that's for Scott and I to share...ya know...we're like...a we share!
The kids raved...Scott enjoyed it and it was a success! I think this will become a regular in our home! Give it a try!

Monday, March 26, 2012

I'm comin' home...

I had been gone since Thursday when I left before the sun was up to catch a 7:00 am flight. I hadn't wanted to leave the night before and miss yet another bed time, so I opted for a 4:00am alarm sound felt early.

The time away was fine, but lacked something. I felt lonely, which is typical for me, but a loneliness that isn't typical plagued my days. The show was slow, thus leaving more time to sit and think in the absence of customers to sell to. I tried to occupy my time by making friends, which I did, and doing as much work as I that it wouldn't pile up thus taking more time away when I did get home.

And then it felt like the flu to a degree...but oddly didn't result in the flu. I was tired to the point of heavy lids, my muscled felt weak and unable to hold me (which could have also been from the "travelers diet"), my hands shaky and my stomach in knots. I felt to weak to cry and to tired to call Scott...also too nervous to call thinking I might break down. I wondered if it could be some sort of overexertion or something...who knows. All I know is that it didn't subside. The next day was horrible.

I was in physical and emotional pain as I attempted to get through the stepping to 2:00. As it neared I felt a little better with each minute. Once at the airport I had left too much time. I had too much time to sit and watch...the families...the babies...the people alone who longed to be home too.

The plane ride went fast..with small children to smile at and a truly delightful couple who gave me countless tips on gardening and a wealth of knowledge...which they were so happy to share.

I drove home...I don't even remember it...I at this point, had to take something to ease the pain...getting home would help. I just knew it.

I walked in the door greeted by two dogs who acted as if I'd been away forever...wagging their nub tails so hard I thought their bodies would fold in half. He walked in...smiling from ear to ear. The kind of smile he only gets when he's excited...I was so calmed to know he was as excited to see me as I was him. His grinning didn't cease as we hugged and chatted and joked around.

And then it happened...I think my emotions got the best of me. My feelings were hurt...but I'm not really sure about what. Maybe it was about the one-too-many jokes about me feeling ill. "Come on! It's not like you can even say you hear me complain about feeling ill more than 3 times a year!", I wanted to say. Cause that's a huge deal...right? That I feel validated in my illness. Foolish....I realize now...but my emotions got me.

But we broke down the walls and we snuggled up for the chilliest night I have felt in a long while. My Sylvi woke to use our bathroom in the middle of the night...I snuck in to say hello...her smiles so resembles her fathers...even through her squinty midnight face she knew it was me and was so smiley! It felt great. Pearl graced us with an early morning snuggle at about 6:00am at which time I decided I couldn't bear to wake the Big's up any earlier than their bodies would do on their own. Scott concurred and we all lay snuggled up for a bit longer...

Until, of course, the snooze kept ringing. Amidst the snooze going off I could hear Scott barely break his slumber to turn it off and continue to "sleep breathe" as I call it. Me? Oh no...I'm fully awake at each buzz....and it continued for far too long until he got out of bed. I snuggled Pearl as long as I could...until her sweet eyes had no tired left in them.

My warm toes left the bed, hitting the chilled carpet and then the even chillier wood floors. On down I went to snuggle Pearl in a blanket with "Max and Ruby" and brew a nice cup of Joe. But...again my emotions were pulled to their limits...there was no coffee! Such a small thing...but such a big effect. I thought Scott said he was getting some and he thought different...but now here I am...Monday morning and no coffee. I was disappointed to say the least. "What's this pot in the sink?", I asked...knowing full well it was from the night before I left. "Could you please put the vacuum away?", "How many pairs of shoes do you need at the front door honey?" I nagged. Yep...I nagged...nicely I beg you...but nagging none the less. My emotions...darn them!

He offered to take the Big's to school...kissed me goodbye as he was heading out of town now and said, "I'm sorry for teasing you too much last night."...I smiled and kissed him goodbye. I knew what I had done. It was all me. I smiled at him again, wishing him well and safe travels...hoping that he would forget what an attitude I had.

And of course...he did. And brought me back a Caribou to brighten my day. I really hope that's the last time I let my emotions get the best of me.

Friday, March 2, 2012

A runner's thoughts.

Whoa...I'm sure that didn't hit you like it hit me, but I just did it. I just called myself a "runner"!

After over 13 years of running on a regular basis...I've finally done it!

Though #1:
I wonder why it's taken this long to actually feel like a "runner"? For the first several years I was pretty much a 5K gal. It was for exercise...for fitness...and 3 miles was about what I could muster on a regular basis. But I did run on a regular why wasn't I a runner? I often times have downplayed it and said, "Well I jog...I don't think it's quite fast enough to be called a run!".

Even through each pregnancy I would continue my fitness efforts, taking a brief hiatus each time due to my huge-ness. In my second pregnancy I even continued running through the full 7 months...and I was large!

But after each...back in the saddle I went and began running a few weeks after delivery. Again making it to my 5k mark and then after baby #3 began increasing my mileage. Often times during this time I would take a merry 10 mile jog on the weekends...realizing at this point that running for me was what Yoga is to others. It clears my mind, strengthens my soul and renews my strength. It was also at this time that I decided to run a half marathon and had even done a couple of farther runs on my own (15 miles being my longest distance to date).

But yet...even after completing my first half marathon I didn't call myself a runner. Was it a self confidence thing...or an expectations thing? I mean...if I called myself a runner, I would actually have to be one...meaning I'd have to keep it up and what if I didn't? Then I had failed? Or would I say then "I used to run!"...ick! Who needs that pressure, right?

Since the birth of baby #4 my running has been a constant in my life...a necessary constant. The element of sanity it provides has even outweighed the fitness benefits for me at this point. It does something for me that I can't do otherwise...and thus I have become a runner! Needing a run like I need water to survive...however, knowing if I can't get one that soon enough I will and my mind will once again say a "Thank you" for that time.

Thought #2:
I have always also considered myself a fair-weather runner also....but as my need for a good mind clearing has gotten more intense through the need to run has overcome my desire to run in the beautiful sunshine only.

I've even been known to run in the rain over the last couple of years...even getting stuck in a huge lightening storm a time or two! Ooops...I don't want to do that again!

This winter has also marked a milestone in which I have run freely in 30 degree weather! Stipulations of a mother of 4 small children and business owner I cannot afford to go lame! So roads have to be somewhat clear and NOT ICY! I can't afford a fall or broken bone in this life!

But as I swung from my beach runs of last week to my snowy runs being passed by snowmobiles of this week...I have enjoyed each and every one!

Thought #3:
If you're a runner (or walker, or jogger)....have you ever been so overcome by thankfulness that you even have the ability to do what you're doing? Each run I am more and more grateful for the physical ability to do something that does so much for me...but can so easily be taken away.

No more thoughts for today!