The House is Quiet
The house is quiet. Which is unusual due to the fact that there are 7 children in it right now. There are two more within my eye sight from where I sit. What? Where am I? On my front porch of course...enjoying the serenity that is surrounding me while my insides are full of chaos.
The house is quiet while my insides brew with storms of uneasiness.
It's dimly lit, the shades are mostly drawn, doors are closed and it is neat and tidy. Which aside from the 'neat and tidy' part fairly well describes my insides right now as well
(and of course my summer vignette is perfectly placed where it should be!)I am doing it again. Getting myself in way over my head. I mean, I can handle. Of course I can handle it. All of the things that I continue to fill my plate with that alone, do not overwhelm me. But if you put them all together can fairly well paralyze me. I commit myself to doing favors, making meals, giving gifts, sewing crafts, emotionally supporting and being an ear to listen to stories of all kinds. After all, isn't that what we are called to do...support one another and walk out our faith?
The part of that I miss is about resting...filling our cup...slowing down to enjoy the things that have been created for us to enjoy. I forget these things ever.so.often only to find myself overwhelmed.
Watching an extra child doe not overwhelm me. Watching 4 extra children does not overwhelm me. Serving friends with fellowship and food does not overwhelm me. My daily duties as a wife and mother do not overwhelm me. Being a listening ear to a heartfelt, hurting spirit does not overwhelm me. But some days...just some days...when this is all happening at once...it gets to be a bit much. I feel as though I lose myself in all of these things! But these things are a part of me...but they are not all of me.
So yet again I begin to recognize that I need to re-focus. Only 2 short weeks after ending my last daily study my reading habits have lacked in consistency and my prayer has waned significantly.