This is no good...

There are days like today ....days that I feel like this is just not good. The day was going off without a hitch...Worship was great (well not great...being that our Associate Pastor announced he has found a new job, but great in that God was present as always and my family was together!) and it's Sunday. Sunday's are my fav day of the week.
Scott gave me a few hours to work this afternoon....when the kids constantly beckoned for me, he stepped in to fulfill their needs. I still got to kiss cheeks and love on my babies as they walked by or as I snuck up on them and stole it! But for the most part I got to get some much needed work time in.
Then...the kids wanted to go outside. So he fulfilled that need. Then...well then dinner needed to happen. So he made dinner and got things prepared for that. So we ate...and as quick as I could wink he needed to leave. He plays hockey every Sunday night (and sometimes more)...which I love. I love that he has such a healthy activity that he absolutely adores! But let me tell you...this house looked like a bomb had gone off.
There were boots and mittens at the door from when the kids went was like a mountain of gear that was not cross-able!
There was bits of lettuce and shredded cheese strewn about the table and counter tops from our dinner.
There were dishes all about the island from when the kids cleared them.
There were were everywhere.
WOW. That's all I can say.
I spent the next couple moments mumbling under my breath...grumbling about how I must looks like some type of cleaning lady.
Then I said the kids..."What? Do you guys think I'm some cleaning lady or some cook for you?". They didn't answer.
Then...I realized I had all the power to change how the rest of my night went.
I kissed my husband...,"Have a great time hun!".
I said, "Hey Kids! Who wants to help me clear the table? Come on...let's do team-work!".
I wavered...I chucked his tennis shoes down the stairs and grumbled a bit more. Then I responded to Lilly's question about where Daddy was, "He is playing hockey. Sometimes even Daddy's need some time to really enjoy their time too!".
I caught myself. Thankfully in time to make an uplifting comment.
Then I lost control for another moment and grumbled, mumbled and shed a few small tears about how I feel insignificant and wonder too...when will I know me again?
And then this happened...this is no good either!
Oh yeah...I made some temptation bars. I felt like it was needed after I had just spent the last 2 ever-lovin' hours cleaning up a mess I didn't make.
It didn't end there though. I still wondered when will I know who I am again....
I think I kind of miss me! I'm not sure really who I am..not that I should know. But I'm finding me more lately. I feel like I'm kind of entering a stage of finding me again.
I'm finding me in my friendships. I'm finding me in the marriage I have.
I'm finding me in my children's lives. I'm finding me in my roles in my Worship Center.
I'm finding me all my role as sister...both older and younger sister.
I'm finding me again.
Something I think each and every mom has to do at some point.
I'm at that point. And what a blessing that is.
I'll let you know how it turns out!
And by the way...the bars were fantastic! I had 6!


Ehlan said…
I think you just described my existence. :)
And I need that recipe!

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