In a moment of weakness,

I LOST IT! Yep you heard that correctly...or maybe I am just losing it altogether. Either way I lost it yesterday morning, all composure, all surety, all control of my emotions! I knew it was coming because I had let myself cry a tiny moment the day before. My mom and I were on the road to a furniture store when we began a discussion about my brother, Zach, and I allowed myself to open up for a moment. I opened up, lost my composure for a moment, gathered myself back together and moved on. I knew that couldn't be the end. And the odd part, is that when I lost it yesterday, it wasn't even all about my brother. I had a terrible morning with the children, problems with electronics, a fussy babe and an emotional state that is unexplainable. So I broke down; all the while thinking "if I just let it out then I'll be fine later.". This isn't the case though, I can tell even now that it wasn't enough. There are still emotions welled up inside that need to come out, they are screaming to come out. But again I ask myself, "when do I have the time?". The answer "I don't, but it' will have to be made!".

To add a sweet note to this, my children get a little upset when I cry. My little Finn was beside himself repeating "mommy don't cry, mommy!" in this sweet, kind voice while rubbing my arm! Oh so adorable!

Comments

raggedy ash said…
love love and more love.
Megan said…
I hate feeling like that :( But since I know others get that way, I feel that it is slightly more normal than what we think to get this way sometimes. I had a melt down a couple weekends ago. I cried and cried and cried about anything and everything.
Even when my husband said, "Should I go the back way or in to town (in the car)?" I cried.

I'm over it now, but I totally think I needed it.

Prayers are with you that you have time to let it all out...
Megan said…
by the way, cute patio and kudos to you guys for doing it yourself
Ehlan said…
Cheers for a happier day today!

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