In a moment of weakness,

I LOST IT! Yep you heard that correctly...or maybe I am just losing it altogether. Either way I lost it yesterday morning, all composure, all surety, all control of my emotions! I knew it was coming because I had let myself cry a tiny moment the day before. My mom and I were on the road to a furniture store when we began a discussion about my brother, Zach, and I allowed myself to open up for a moment. I opened up, lost my composure for a moment, gathered myself back together and moved on. I knew that couldn't be the end. And the odd part, is that when I lost it yesterday, it wasn't even all about my brother. I had a terrible morning with the children, problems with electronics, a fussy babe and an emotional state that is unexplainable. So I broke down; all the while thinking "if I just let it out then I'll be fine later.". This isn't the case though, I can tell even now that it wasn't enough. There are still emotions welled up inside that need to come out, they are screaming to come out. But again I ask myself, "when do I have the time?". The answer "I don't, but it' will have to be made!".

To add a sweet note to this, my children get a little upset when I cry. My little Finn was beside himself repeating "mommy don't cry, mommy!" in this sweet, kind voice while rubbing my arm! Oh so adorable!