Emotions are running high
There were so many things that I thought would come of my "vacation" to North Dakota. I had hoped for some rest...relaxation...time with my children...retrospection...conversations with my God...time with my mother and sis..and I really hoped for this trip to solve my inner issues.
I have to say that I actually begged for some of these things to happen...desperately I needed a getaway. An escape from my revolving door, my ringing phone, my full calendar and my full brain. I was feeling trapped, trapped in my own home and skin. It would be a misunderstanding to think that I am saying I am not comfortable in my skin...I am...I was just feeling trapped in a place I didn't like.
So many things happened while I was gone. I can't say that all of the things I wanted to happened...or that they didn't. I am really not sure where the trip left me. I feel like something happened...I am just not sure what and how it affects the things I had hoped would happen.
These are some things I KNOW happened. I know that I spent some priceless time with my mother and children. I KNOW that I was able to relax and let down my guard. I know that I had countless conversations with my God. But how this all affects me I am not sure.
I also know that being in that tiny town makes me want to move to an unknown place and bring a select few with me. I want to be self sustaining and have no phone, no fax (of course I want Internet) and find solace in my family, friends and surrounding.
We arrived home to the same revolving door that we left...the same phone ringing...the same people and same schedule. Something, however, is different. I know digress to hear what that is.
Does this ever happen to any of you? Where your emotions are running so high and I can feel that there are many reasons why...I am just not sure what those reasons are?
I have to say that I actually begged for some of these things to happen...desperately I needed a getaway. An escape from my revolving door, my ringing phone, my full calendar and my full brain. I was feeling trapped, trapped in my own home and skin. It would be a misunderstanding to think that I am saying I am not comfortable in my skin...I am...I was just feeling trapped in a place I didn't like.
So many things happened while I was gone. I can't say that all of the things I wanted to happened...or that they didn't. I am really not sure where the trip left me. I feel like something happened...I am just not sure what and how it affects the things I had hoped would happen.
These are some things I KNOW happened. I know that I spent some priceless time with my mother and children. I KNOW that I was able to relax and let down my guard. I know that I had countless conversations with my God. But how this all affects me I am not sure.
I also know that being in that tiny town makes me want to move to an unknown place and bring a select few with me. I want to be self sustaining and have no phone, no fax (of course I want Internet) and find solace in my family, friends and surrounding.
We arrived home to the same revolving door that we left...the same phone ringing...the same people and same schedule. Something, however, is different. I know digress to hear what that is.
Does this ever happen to any of you? Where your emotions are running so high and I can feel that there are many reasons why...I am just not sure what those reasons are?
Comments
That was just the beginning to my uneasiness.
Emotions are lovely.
:)
-Although a day or two of quietness in your own home, well, you sure do deserve it!
Have a great day!
I spent the entire week praying for you. Your heart. Your spirit. Your sanity! =)
Yours and Megans comments here just show taht no matter how wonderful something is...TOO much of either can take us down!