January 14th, 2007 - 3rd and Final

(Please read this post, and then this post first)
I wrote this story for fear of forgetting. I am to a point where the scent is disappearing from my nose. The laugh is vanishing from my ears and the face is fading in my eyes. This is scary. It is scary that you can spend 22 years with someone and then 2 years after they have gone you are already forgetting. I don't want to forget.
There is such a story to my brothers life, however, that outdoes his death hands down. I will have to share that someday!
But for now...I need to remember him. I need to stand again, where I have stood many times, in my kitchen. This is where he stood as we talked the Wednesday he visited my home before he died. I need to stand here and replay the conversation in my mind...it gets shorter every time I try to remember it. I need to sit in the dining room at the table..where I sat that day. I need to sit there and remember him kissing me like he always did. Kissing me to the point of annoyance. God gave me grace that day as I usually push him away somewhat jokingly...I didn't that day. Thank you Lord for that moment. I need to look through the photos in the slide show and remember moments I thought I had forgotten. I need to remind my children of my amazing brother and how important it is to love your siblings and be there for them as my sisters and brother were for one another. How important your family is in supporting you and helping you through this tough life.
And for those of you who read this who knew and loved him through some avenue, be it as family, a friend, an acquaintance or otherwise, please know that we think of you as well. We think of the 700 plus people who attended his service...many not saved and straying far from God's plan.
We all miss him. We all miss you Zach!

Comments

Miss said…
I always remember how whenever he would come and sit by me, he would like come with full speed and almost slam into me and say (whith his big charming grin) "Hey miss" and just like that he would be off again. He never just "sat down", always slamming!! =)
Becca said…
Thanks for sharing your heart, Alicia. I will be praying for you and your family this week!
Ehlan said…
Thanks for sharing Alicia; my prayers are with all of you also. What beautiful memories you have even during such a tragic time. Thank you for sharing.
Laura said…
Love ya Alicia...Thanks for sharing the beautiful pictures and blog. Please pass my love on to the rest of your family. So many memories of Zach are my head right...and they are actually making me smile, not cry. One to make you laugh--One time, Zach and I were home alone at my parents house before Christmas. Even though they weren't Zach's presents, he was so curious to see what our presents under the tree were. So thrifty Zach found away to open them all and re-tape them so nobody would know. It's also the weekend that he helped me create my secert pizza sauce recipe when we wanted pizza and didn't have all the right stuff. I will always think of him when I eat a pizza!
amanda said…
what a beautiful post(s). praying for you and your family. thanks for sharing you beautiful heart!
Kristie said…
Thank you for sharing. My mother passed 5 years ago, and something i found to be very helpful was to keep a journal of the memories I have of her. Some I have already forgotten, but I can always go back, and remember from what I wrote. God Bless you and your family.
Yaya said…
This story is so heartbreaking. Thank you for sharing it and reminding us that life is short and to cherish what we have while we can.


(((Hugs)))
Korey said…
Oh Alicia...you are an amazing person I tell ya! While I didn't know your brother all that well...what I do remember about him is that he was ALWAYS smiling. Prays and hugs to you and your family.
Bridget said…
thank you for sharing this! I know it probably wasn't easy but now you will be able to go back and always read it. Love you guys!!!
Thank you for sharing. He sounds like an incredible brother. May you never forget his memory. May his life live on. And may our Heavenly Father comfort you and your family as you continue to deal with this tragic loss.

Thank you for the reminder to never take our families for granted!

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